I hate my next door neighbour. For many many reasons, but the cause of my latest rant is simple. I am so SICK of him banging and crashing around in the middle of the night.
It is almost 4am and, fair enough- I'm awake anyway, but two of my friends have had their houses broken into this month while they were asleep upstairs, and with the recession comes rising crime levels.
I've just had to go downstairs at 3:42 in the morning armed with a can of hairspray and piece of metal tubing from something to squirt in the eyes of, or thwack over the head of, any unsuspecting intruders.
I know, it's ridiculous, but in the wee-small hours, it's difficult to distinguish what is general banging and crashing of an inconsiderate wanker of a neighbour in any part of his semi-detached house, from an intruder breaking in and bumping into stuff in the room below mine while they're nicking my tv.
2 comments:
Interesting verbal snapshots of your life in England. I like because it is such a contrast with the "England" most of us Americans have, ours being formed by BBC comedies, by "Masterpiece Theater", and news coverage of Royalty. When I think of rural England, my mind locks onto "Last of the Summer Wine" - which I watch loyally nightly (and which I see myself fitting in right well as I too, am an old coot enjoying second childhood.)
Good to see you actively engaged in the arts. Your energy is alive and well. Thanks.
Get a gun, it works soo much better than hair spray- oh I forgot in England only the crimionals have guns. Such a civil concept! Wouldn't want to hurt a thief.
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